


Not Happy When You're Gone

by calie15



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6612220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma remembered the conversation all to clearly. She’d played it over and over again in her head. The short version was that Bucky had been especially annoyed with her at the prospect of her date and said some things neither of them had been prepared for. Mainly, ‘I bet he doesn’t care about you half as much as I do.’ Then Bucky had left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Happy When You're Gone

Someone sits across from her at the table and Jemma look up, brow rising slightly when she sees Bucky. “What are you doing here?”

He has his forearms resting on the table and looks at her. “Wanted to talk.”

Jemma glances around nervously, because he’s Bucky Barnes, and nothing attracts attention like a man with a cybernetic arm, a recognizable handsome face, and a rather intimidating build. To make matters worse they’re sitting in the middle of a SHIELD facility. To give Bucky credit the only part of his arm exposed was the hand. His head his bowed slightly, as if he was trying to be conspicuous, but even those tempting strands of brown hair hanging in his face wouldn’t hide him well. 

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” He asks finally as if noticing her nervousness.

Jemma shakes her head. “I think here is fine.” From his frown she would say he thought otherwise. He looks away and pushes the errant strands behind his ear and then turns back to her, resting his arm once against on the table. His real hand curls over the left. To be honest, she couldn’t care less who recognized them, but this was building up to be a conversation where she didn’t want to be the center of attention. But Jemma wasn’t confident in her ability to be in a room alone with him. “Well?”

“I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

Of course. Jemma looked down at her salad, which was suddenly unappetizing. 

“I mean, I shouldn’t have said it the way I did.”

At that she looked up, this time a little more agitated. “What does that mean?”

She could see him struggling, and she thought to help him out, maybe ask him questions, help him find the right words. But she wouldn’t this time. This time he needed to do it on his own. She needed him to.

“Why did you leave?”

Now it was Jemma’s turn to frown. He was circumventing the real issue. For a moment she considered not telling him, but then finally leaned forward and crossed her arms on the table. “Because space seemed like a good idea. Didn’t you think?”

“No,” he said abruptly. “Space isn’t another state.”

Jemma sighed and sat back, but kept her eyes on him. “What do you want Bucky? And if you’re here to spin some lousy excuse I swear I’ll…” She pursed her eyes and glared at him. He’d caused her a lot of emotional distress lately.

“What?” He asked, one brow raised.

Jemma leaned forward and seethed. “What do you want?” She whispered harshly through clenched teeth. Grabbing the phone which was face down she looked at the time and then slammed it down. “I’m running out of time.”

“This would be easier if you weren’t being difficult,” he snapped.

“You are absolutely ridiculous!” Jemma leaned forward. “Of all the pig headed-.” His eyes flickered down and then cold fingers settled over hers.

“Making you irate is a habit. I’m sorry,” he said.

Jemma closed her mouth and looked back up at him, but she didn’t move her hand.

“I wasn’t going to come, I figured you taking off was best for you?”

Jemma felt her blood begin to cool. “How so?”

“Because you should be with some guy who has his shit together and who is as smart as you are. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

Jemma remembered the conversation all to clearly. She’d played it over and over again in her head. The short version was that Bucky had been especially annoyed with her at the prospect of her date and said some things neither of them had been prepared for. Mainly, ‘I bet he doesn’t care about you half as much as I do.’ Then Bucky had left. “Why?” Jemma whispered. She needed to know, she needed to know everything.

He looked down and shook his head slightly, one finger rubbing over hers. “I think my past alone is reason enough.”

“And Natasha,” Jemma said, a lump forming in her throat. His eyes looked up at her.

“Jemma that was over almost 8 months ago. That wasn’t anything.”

It hurt like it was something. Jemma looked away this time and now she could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she wouldn’t cry, not in front of him, not in front of a hundred SHIELD employees eating their lunch. “Then what’s this?”

“I don’t know.”

Jemma had to agree, but she still had hoped he would say something more. With a sigh she tried to collect herself and looked back up at him. “Bucky, what do you want?”

He paused for a moment before answering. “What I want is for this to be easy. I don’t want to have to struggle with this.”

Jemma frowned and looked around. If he was having trouble communicating then being in a crowded area wasn’t going to help. “Are you staying in a hotel?”

“Yea.”

Jemma drew in a deep breath and pulled her hand away. “I have to get back to work Bucky. Will you be here at least tonight.”

“If you want me to be.”

Her heart gave a hard thump in her chest. “Text me the hotel and room number. I’ll come by as soon as I can.”

Jemma offered him a small smile and then retreated.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After work she took some time to shower and change into something more comfortable. It had seemed like the best idea.

Some time after the sun went down she was knowing knocking on a hotel door and fighting not to fidget nervously. Bucky opened the door and Jemma kept her eyes on his face, she wouldn’t allow herself the pleasure of trailing her eyes down his body and appreciating his stupid t-shirt.

He let her in silently and she glanced quickly about the room, noting the curtains pulled back at the window, and walked towards it. “That is an impressive view.”

“I decided to treat myself.”

Jemma smiled slightly. Bucky never treated himself. With a resolute sigh she turned. “You can’t tell people you have feelings for them and then run away.”

“Going straight to it then?”

“Yes,” Jemma said more sharply then she had originally attended. But harsh tones seemed to motivate him, because he narrowed his eyes.

“Do you really think this is easy for me? How many other people besides Steve can say it’s been decades since they have been confronted with feelings for someone?!”

“Do I need to bring up Natasha again?” Jemma asked. Not because she wanted to, or deserved an explanation, but he clearly had no problems there. “You seemed to have no problem achieving a relationship with her, or whatever it is you define it as.”

“Eight months Jemma!” He snapped, reminding her of what he had said earlier.

“My point is,” Jemma stepped forward, “that I can’t seem to grasp why one is so much harder then the other.”

“Because it’s you! Sitting there all prim and proper, no blood on your hands, always doing things by the book.” He drew in a deep breath and his jaw clenched. “Because you have more reason then anyone to tell me to go to hell.”

Jemma had to admit, Bucky could be an imposing figure. If Jemma didn’t know him she would have definitely retreated. “You’re here now. Why?” At that question Jemma could see the real struggle in his face, the way his jaw worked and his eyes flickered over her. “Bucky?”

“Because I’m not happy when you’re gone and I don’t want to be just friends.”

That was it. Jemma drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It was a blind date,” Jemma admitted and studied him carefully. “I canceled it.”

For a moment Jemma was tempted to just to tell him to kiss her, and she was working up to it when he stepped forward and slid his real hand into her hair. His lips paused just a breath away from hers before he closed the distance. At the press of his lips she moved closer, wrapped her arms around his neck, and arched into his body, pleasure curling within her when his arm wrapped around her waist. She had no qualms at all when it came to Bucky keeping her tight against his body.

Jemma made a needy sound as he fisted her hair and deepened the kiss, giving her no room to move, which was just fine, because she tried to move closer by pushing onto her toes and tightening her arms around his neck. As if Bucky read her mind, he kissed her harder, grabbed her thighs and lifted her off the ground. Jemma didn’t mind in the least having to wrap her legs around his waist. Then she gave an appreciative whimper as he settled her on the desk in the room and remained between her legs.

She likes kissing him, but what Jemma likes almost just as much is his hands on her. The way his hand slips from her hair and wraps possessively around the back of her neck. His left hand slides over her back, wrapping around her sides, and against settling on her back to pull her body against him.

He pulled back just slightly, resting his forehead on her own. “Are you coming back?” He asked quietly, warm breath brushing against her lips.

Jemma felt unsure then, scared even. It wasn’t that she was scared of Bucky or even a relationship with Bucky. She was scared of something going wrong, of this perfect being ruined. “Do you want me to?”

“I can beg,” he said, his mouth turning up in a small smirk.

The change in his attitude was infectious. It was hard for her not to relax and share his happiness with his body against her and arms around her, a small smirk on his face. “I’m not opposed to begging,” she whispered, but he was already leaning in and kissing her again.


End file.
